How to Support Someone Who Just Lost Their Job (Without Saying the Wrong Thing)

By: Aurora Sandoval

When someone loses their job, it’s rarely just about money.

It’s about losing routine. Stability. Confidence. Identity. For a lot of people, work is tied to who they are - so when it disappears, it can feel like the ground has dropped out from under them.

If a friend or loved one was recently laid off or let go, you probably want to help. But you might not know what to say. Or you might be worried about saying the wrong thing.

That’s normal. Most of us were never taught how to support someone through career grief. Here’s how to show up for them in a way that actually helps.

Why Job Loss Hits Harder Than People Expect

Job loss is a form of grief.

Even if the job wasn’t perfect.
Even if they secretly hated it.
Even if they were already thinking about leaving.

Because along with the job, they’ve lost:

• Their daily structure
• Their sense of purpose
• Their work friends
• Their financial security
• Their confidence

Suddenly their days look different. Their future feels uncertain. And their identity might feel shaken.

It’s not just “time to update your resume.”
It’s “Who am I without this?”

That emotional hit often comes before the practical stress even kicks in.

If you want to better understand what career grief looks like from the inside, we wrote more about it here: When You Lose Your Job: How to Cope with Career Grief and Move Forward
It’s a helpful read whether you’re supporting someone else - or quietly struggling yourself.

What to Say (and What Not to Say)

When someone is freshly unemployed, they don’t need fixing. They need to feel seen.

Helpful things to say:

• “I’m really sorry. That’s incredibly tough.”
• “Do you want to talk about it?”
• “How can I support you right now?”
• “I’m here for you - no pressure to be okay.”

Sometimes just naming how hard it is can be a huge relief.

Things to avoid:

• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “At least you didn’t like that job anyway.”
• “You’ll find something better.”
• “Have you tried applying to…”

Even well-meaning advice can feel overwhelming when someone is still in shock. Let them lead, follow their pace and don't try to "fix" everything for them.

Practical Ways to Show Support

Support doesn’t have to be big, expensive, or complicated. Small, thoughtful gestures go a long way:

• Take them out for coffee or a walk
• Drop off a meal or groceries
• Send a “thinking of you” text
• Help with childcare during interviews
• Look over their resume when they’re ready
• Share job leads (only if they ask)
• Give them a gift card for something comforting

Sometimes the best support is simply reminding them they still matter - even without a job title.

And if you want to send something tangible, a care package can be a really meaningful way to say: “You’re not alone. I see you. I’m rooting for you.”

How to Support Without Trying to Fix

You can’t solve unemployment. You can’t fast-forward them to the part where everything feels okay again.

But you can:

• Sit with them in the uncertainty
• Let them vent without trying to fix it
• Remind them they are more than their job
• Keep showing up, even when things feel awkward

That kind of support sticks.

A Small Gesture That Can Mean Everything

When someone loses their job, the days can start to blur together. The motivation disappears. The self-doubt creeps in.

A thoughtful care package can be a powerful reminder that:

• They’re not invisible
• They’re not alone
• This chapter doesn’t define them

At Good Grief, we created our Job Loss Care Packages for exactly these moments - when someone needs comfort, encouragement, and a little light in a really dark season.

If you’re looking for a meaningful way to support someone through career grief, you can explore our collection here: Job Loss Care Packages

You can also create a customized care package using our Create Your Own Care Package tool.

The Bottom Line

Losing a job can shake someone’s entire sense of self.

Showing up - consistently, kindly, without judgment - is one of the most powerful gifts you can give.

Because sometimes the best support isn’t a solution. It’s simply reminding someone that they’re not going through it alone.

 

About the author

Aurora Sandoval is a 17 year old freelance writer, who loves spending time with her dog and family.